Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
