either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
