Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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