my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
