just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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