Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I need to wash the frat house off of me
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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