is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
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