The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Randomize
