Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
