So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
