Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
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