Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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