I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
