Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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