I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
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