I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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