He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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