every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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