But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
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