i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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