we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
