This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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