Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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