Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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