Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Randomize
