And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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