Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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