Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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