a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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