That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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