Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
