you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
