judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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