No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Randomize
