Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
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