Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Randomize
