Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
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