What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
