When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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