Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
