The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
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