U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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