its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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