pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
