We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
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