Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
More tranny stories later!
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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