and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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