I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
