If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Randomize
