i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
