haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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