i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
